Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize