At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
