I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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