You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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