a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
