Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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