Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
as a side note pls kill me
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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