i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
