my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
