they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize