dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
