Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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