what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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