i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
