The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
