Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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