I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
