Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize