we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
