can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize