from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
