loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
