Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
