I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
