she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize