everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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