Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
