Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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