He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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