Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
