and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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