yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
