im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
