stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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