i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
either way he was missing a nipple.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
