are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
being pregnant is like rehab
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Im part way to drunk.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
