I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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