is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
