Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Randomize
