my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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