is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
