I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
