gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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