sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
