She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
