my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
