I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
