I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
