she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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