Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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