Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
