im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
