I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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