He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
