If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
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