Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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