I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Randomize